Peterhead Methodist Church
My Testimony by Ann Donald
About a year ago myself and my family found that my mum had cancer. She died on 10th May last year. I looked after her during her illness, which I was privileged to do. One thing, looking back, was that she had no fear of dying. She had been coming to this church for many years and though she didn't speak much about her faith, she had a deep, quiet faith in God. After she died I spent a lot of time banging my head off walls, pounding the floor, shouting, "Why her? Why my mum?" I couldn't make any sense of it.
Later in the summer I suffered a nervous and mental breakdown which has left me with clinical depression. At the end of last year my dad had a heart attack which meant a lot of time spent in the hospital and a big operation for him. I didn't know how I was getting the strength to look after him and myself. I do now.
Geoff did a bit of persuading for me to go to the Alpha meal, I'm very glad he did. I started going to church soon after I started the Alpha course and one night I was there, people were invited to come forward if they'd like to receive prayer. I had no intention of going anywhere! But at the end of the service something inside me said, "It's time." I went forward and Geoff and Susan prayed with me. I asked the Lord to come into my life and into my heart.
Since my mum had died, I had been carrying a feeling inside me that was so powerful it was physical. I could feel a lump in my chest where all the guilt of "why didn't I realise something was wrong with mum earlier?" and "did I do enough for her?". I had built up a lot of anger and resentment too. As soon as I accepted Jesus into my heart, it was all gone - the lump in my chest, the anger, the guilt, everything. I felt totally calm inside, at peace for the first time in a long time. All the emotional baggage, all past resentments, hurts and things I had been carrying around were also gone. It was as if the Holy Spirit had corne into my life and cleared out all the rubbish I didn't need.
From this carne the certainty that my mum is at peace. She is with God and all the hurt and pain is gone. She is happy and safe and I know I will see her again. It's like God said to me, "She's with me, she's home and you did your best for her". The comfort this knowledge has given me is unbelievable. I now know where the strength came from to cope with my dad's illness. I wasn't alone. I was in too much pain to see it at the time but I know now that God was right beside me, keeping watch and giving me the strength I needed.
I still suffer from my own illness and know I still have to face a long road to recovery. I have good days and some very bad, dark days. But I know I'm no longer trying to fight this illness on my own. I have Jesus right beside me, helping me every step of the way. Knowing I have a friend who sees and understands every part of me, especially in my dark days, is a great comfort to me. And for this I thank God each and every day. Amen.
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| Bella Third | Louise Forbes |
| Philippa Baker-Short | Ann Donald |
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